Looking For Dr Shepherd
by tryingthingsout
Summary: What happens when a young woman comes to Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital looking for Dr. Derek Shepherd?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the original characters.**

I flip my curly brown hair over my shoulder and head towards the entrance of Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. I stop just short of the entrance and take a deep breath. This is the moment I have waited for my whole life. Calming myself down, I go in and make my way into the intern locker room.

After changing and meeting my new resident, I am told to find Dr. Shepherd, Head of Neurosurgery. This is it. But when instead of finding the male doctor that I am expecting to see, I find a woman with the same name and title waiting at the nurse's station.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Shepherd." I tell a nurse hoping she would point me to the male doctor. "Yes, that's me. Are you my intern?" The female doctor answered. "Uhh, yes I am Eleanor Rhett." I tell her sticking my hand out to shake hers. Instead she just looks at it and tells me to follow her.

Following her around and checking on patients isn't nearly as fun as the doctors on TV make it out to be but this is my life now. I studied eight years for this and I may as well make the most of it.

It isn't until the end of the day that I work up the courage to act about the other Dr. Shepherd, the one I really want to meet.

"Dr. Shepherd, would you happen to know if Dr. DEREK Shepherd is working today?" The Head of Neurosurgery's step halter as we walk down the hall.

"Why would you ask about him? You're on my service and there isn't any reason as to why you would need him." She says as she looks at me with wide eyes and pale skin. It seems like she's seen a ghost.

"Oh, well I was just wondering, um, not really for any reason in particular. I'm sorry if I have offended you." I quickly apologize but it does little to fix her mood.

"Well, don't bring him up again. I'm Dr. Shepherd in this hospital and any other Shepherds do not concern you."

"Of course. Good night Dr. Shepherd." I say as I quickly walk away and hope that the rest of my shift goes smoothly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited this story.**

I follow my resident and the other interns around at pre-rounds before getting our assignments. Ruby, an intern in my ground, and I are both assigned to Dr. Grey.

"So, I hear Dr. Grey is a pretty big deal around here. Part of the Grey Sloan Seven and her name is literally everywhere on this hospital." Ruby says as we make our way to Dr. Grey. "I mean, I know she went through a lot with the plane crash and all, but to name the hospital after yourself? It's a little narcissistic if you ask me." Ruby and I both chuckle at my statement.

 **"Well it's a good thing no one asked you then." We both turn to see Dr. Grey, already wearing her Medusa face. "I think you should keep your opinions to yourself from now on. Especially when it concerns things that you don't know anything about."**

"I am really sorry Dr. Grey." I am really getting off to a great start with the attendings here. "No you're not. So don't apologize but don't let it happen again." Dr. Grey quickly sees through my meaningless apology and starts to head towards a patient's room while Ruby and I quickly realize we are meant to follow.

Before we reach the patient's room, our pagers go off 911 in the pit and the three of us run to meet the ambulance. "9 months pregnant female with a lot of vaginal bleeding. Said she took a fall a few days ago but everything checked out fine at her regular OB appointment." The ambulance worker quickly spits out. "OK people get me an ultrasound machine. It may be her placenta bleeding but with a fall it could be something else." With Dr. Grey's order I run to get the machine.

"It's her spleen. Looks like the fall has caused a splenic hemorrhage." I tell Dr. Grey certain of my diagnosis. "Alright. Let's get up to the OR"

I step out of the way and watch as Dr. Grey and nurses take the patient up to the OR. "Why are just watching? Do you want in or not?" I look around and make sure that she is talking to me.

"Umm, yes! Of course!" I say as I start to run towards the elevator. As I step into the elevator, I hear Dr. Grey sigh and see her roll her eyes but I'm still too excited about being in the OR, that close to real surgery to care.

Dr. Grey is amazing. That's the only thought in my mind as I sit outside of the OR. "Dr. Grey, thank you so much for letting me in on that surgery! It was awesome! You're awesome! I am just, wow! It's such a high. I can't explain it." I bombard her as soon as she walks out of the scrub room.

"Listen Dr…" she trails off clearly not knowing my name. "Rhett, Eleanor Rhett." I tell her. "Dr. Rhett," she starts again, "I know what a high it is to experience your first surgery. It wasn't all that long ago that I was experiencing my first high so I don't need you telling me about yours." She picks up the patient's chart and hands it to me. "Do my post-op notes and watch her tonight." And with that, Dr. Grey walks away. So much for impressing an attending.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Thanks again for the reviews and favorites/follows.**

After a long night of monitoring Dr. Grey's patient, it's finally time for lunch. I make my way through the lunch line and sit at a table next to Ruby.

"Ugh, last night was the longest night of my life. Dr. Grey made me watch her patient all night and she was stable. All night long. Not even a little swing in her stats." I complain to Ruby as we start to eat.

"You wished for your patient's stats to drop?" She chuckles. "Whatever, you wanna know what I did all night?" Ruby begins telling me about her night with some guy she picked up at the bar.

I zone out and find myself staring at Dr. Amelia Shepherd who's sitting with Dr. Karev, Dr. Grey, and Dr. Pierce.

"Why are you staring at Dr. Shepherd?" Ruby asks when she realizes I'm no longer listening.

"What? Oh, I don't know. I didn't realize I was."

* * *

"Um, Amelia, why is that intern staring at you?" Maggie asks.

"Which one? Oh, that one. Something about her rubs me the wrong way. When she was on my service, she asked about Derek." Amelia replies as she stabs at her salad.

"Wait!" Meredith cuts her off, "Why did she ask about Derek?"

"I don't know. She just asked if I knew where Derek was. I thought my days as the other Dr. Shepherd were over." Amelia says in response to Meredith's question.

"You know, she kinda looks like you." Alex says to Amelia.

All three of the girls look at him like he has two heads. "Why would you say that, Alex?" Amelia asks him, shocked that he would say something like that.

"Amelia, yes she does. Look at her eyes, the hair, she looks like you." Alex defends his statement.

Maggie agrees "Now that Alex said that, I kinda agree."

Meredith jokingly adds, "You know, maybe she's a long lost sister. It's about time someone gets a surprise sister that isn't me."

"I don't think I have a secret sister. Mom didn't even go out on a date after Dad died." Amelia says not finding Meredith funny.

"You never know, maybe Momma Shepherd was a secret slut." Alex jokes.

Amelia, still not want to believe that Eleanor could be her sister, "Don't you think that I would remember if my mother was pregnant?"

"Well, I didn't." Meredith says while putting her arm around Maggie.

With that, Amelia leaves the table to check on her patients, while the other doctors laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thanks for the reviews and favorites/follows.**

Meredith and Alex are walking down the hall to the nurse's station.

"Do you think that intern is pretty?" Meredith asks Alex.

"What intern?" Alex asks. Meredith gives him a look. "Oh. That one staring at Amelia. I don't know. Maybe?"

"Do you think that she's leggy and bright and probably had a good childhood?" Meredith asks again.

"What? Mer, what are you talking about?"

Meredith stops and pulls Alex into a supply closet. "Do you remember when Derek was living in DC and some girl answered his phone?" She continues after Alex nods. "Do you think that she could be the girl who answered it? Do you think she's Derek's research fellow from DC? I mean that certainly would explain why she asked about him. What if she didn't hear about Derek dying and now she's here to try to win him over?"

"Mer, you need to calm down. For one, I think she's too young to be a research fellow. And why would she come here and start an internship without making completely sure that he still works here? I'm sure she's just some girl that found him attractive, knew he used to work here, and wanted to meet him. Or maybe she's interested in Neuro and wanted to learn from him." Alex tries to reason.

"Ok. You're right. I'm freaking out over nothing."

Alex then leads Meredith out of the supply closet.

* * *

"Where are you from?" I hear as I fill out a chart at the nurse's station.

I look up to see Dr. Grey. "I'm from Maine." I tell her and turn my attention back to the chart.

"Where'd you go to college? Med School?" She continues with her questioning.

"Bowdoin for college. Harvard for Medical School."

"Did you ever work in DC?"

"No. I came here straight after graduation. Um, no disrespect Dr. Grey, but is there a reason as to why you're questioning me?"

"I'm just trying to get to know you, Dr. Rhett."

"Well, what about you Dr. Grey? Where did you go to college and medical school? Where are you from?"

"Don't ask me personal questions, Rhett." She says as she walks away.

 _That was really strange._ I think as I walk Dr. Grey leave.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews. To the guest reviewer, I'm not aware of the story that you are talking about, but this isn't it. This is the first and only story I have ever written. I apologize for the confusion.**

 _He's dead._ That's all I can think after I decided to search deeper for Derek Shepherd. _I can't believe he's dead. I'll never get to meet him now._ I close the computer screen and close my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

I look in the mirror, brush my hair, and head towards the hospital.

"So, what's your family like?" Ruby asks as we walk to find our resident.

"What is with everyone asking about my personal life?" I snap, aggravated that everyone seems to be interested.

"Woah." Ruby says as she puts her hands up in mock defeat, " I was just trying to get to know you better."

"I'm sorry. It's just yesterday, Dr. Grey walked up to me and asked about where I was from and what schools I went to. She even asked if I had ever worked in DC."

"You see, me asking about your family, that's normal. We're friends. But ? That's a little weird."

"I know, right? Anyways, my family? Well, it was just me and mom until I was ten. Then she got married to my step-dad, John, and they had two kids, my sister Samantha and my brother, Brooks."

"What about your dad?"

"Well, my mom got pregnant while she was in college at Bowdoin. I've never met my dad. All I have is his name on my birth certificate and a really old picture of him when he and my mom were dating."

"Did he know your mom was pregnant? Why didn't stick around? You ever think about looking for him?"

I look at Ruby strangely because she's so interested in my father. "My mom says they broke up before she found out she was pregnant and she didn't want to tell him because she didn't want him to try to get back together with her because of me."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense."

"As far as looking for him goes, I think I've lasted this long without him, I'll probably last forever." I tell her, hoping that she won't pick up on my hidden heartbreak. "What about you? What's your family like?"

"Oh, they're great! I grew up in West Virginia, small town, big family. I have the greatest parents, an older sister, Opal, and two younger brothers, Blake and Aaron." Ruby tells me really fast, clearly excited to talk about her family.

"You and your sister both have gemstone names. Why'd your parents leave your brothers out?"

"Oh, well, I don't know. I guess gemstones don't really lend themselves to be used as boy names." She shrugs as we reach our resident.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for the reviews.**

I'm in the cafeteria headed to a table when I feel a little body crash into my legs and look down to see a little boy with blonde hair looking up at me.

"Hi." I say as I put my tray on a table and squat down to look the little boy in the eyes. "What's your name?"

"Bailey Shepherd. What's your's?"

"I'm Eleanor. Where are your parents sweetheart?"

"My mommy's over there." Bailey points towards a table where Dr. Grey is feeding another little blonde baby. "Can I have your chocolate pudding?"

I look into his big blue eyes and shrug. "Sure. Do you want to take it and go sit with your mommy?"

He nods excitedly and reaches for the pudding. I hand it to him as we walk towards Dr. Grey.

"Dr. Grey? I believe this belongs to you."

She looks at me as Bailey jumps into a chair and tries to get the pudding open. "Thanks, Rhett. Bailey, where did you get that pudding?"

"Oh, I gave it to him. He asked if he could have it. I guess I should've asked you first, huh?"

"It's alright. Here Bailey let me open it for you."

"Ok, well, I'll see you guys later. It was very nice to meet you, Bailey."

"Bye, Elnor." Bailey stumbles over my name as he waves with a chocolate smile. "Thanks for the pudding."

I chuckle as I walk away from the cute little boy.

 _His last name is Shepherd. But his mom is Dr. Grey. His father must have been a Shepherd. Could it be that his father is Derek Shepherd?_ So many thoughts and questions are running through my mind after meeting the sweet boy in the cafeteria.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

I'm working in the pit when an ambulance comes carrying a seizing man. After stabilizing the patient and calling for Neuro, I take him down to get an MRI.

Sitting with Dr. Shepherd, we wait for the scans to come up.

"Wow. That is a huge tumor." I say astonished at the space this tumor is taking up in this man's brain.

"I know. It's beautiful." Dr. Shepherd says with a huge grin.

"So, how are you going to take it out?"

" _How_ am I going to take it out? Most people would look at a tumor and ask if I am going to _try_ to take it out. You really have a lot of faith in my abilities."

"I've seen your work, Dr. Shepherd. I think if anyone can take this tumor out, then it's you."

"Well, alright then. Rhett, get this patient up to a room, I'll notify the OR, and then you can scrub in."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." I take the patient up to his room and start his pre-op. _Maybe I am going to be a great Neurosurgeon._

* * *

I'm scrubbing out with Dr. Shepherd after suctioning for her the entire surgery and she even let me retract a little part of the tumor.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. That was amazing."

"You are welcome, Rhett. You know, you seem to have a real knack for neuro, do you know what you want to specialize in yet?"

"Well, it's a little early to be thinking about that, isn't it?"

"Sure it is. But I have a feeling that you already have a bit of an idea. Am I wrong?"

"No, I have thought about it a bit. A lot actually. I want to be a Neurosurgeon. I am going to be a Neurosurgeon."

"That's the kind of confidence I'm looking for. Stick with me, kid. I'll get you there."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews.**

 _I am officially a creep. A stalker. A creepy stalker. Why am I here?_

I look down at the tombstone below me. _Derek Shepherd. Beloved Son, Husband, Father and Brother. It's A Beautiful Day To Save Lives._

I am also thinking I should have bought flowers because the ones on his grave look a little old. I can't believe I actually came here. I don't feel a connection to this grave, even though it holds my father. I never met him, why would I feel a connection?

I am about to leave when I hear someone come up behind me.

"Rhett? What are you doing here?"

I turn around to see Dr. Grey holding a bunch of flowers with a confused expression on her face.

"Um, well, you see, I just…"

"Rhett, tell me what you're doing here now. First, you ask Amelia about her brother and now you're here at his grave. What's the deal?"

 _This is it. Bite the bullet. No anesthesia._

"I'm his daughter."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for all the follows, favorites, and reviews.**

Dr. Grey looks at me with a mixed expression of anger and confusion. "Excuse me?! You're his what?"

"I'm his daughter, Dr. Grey?"

"And how exactly do you know this?"

"His name is on my birth certificate. I have an old picture of him with my mom from when they were in college."

"Maybe you're mom lied."

"What? Listen, Dr. Grey, I know this is hard for you to hear. Your dead husband has a long lost daughter and now she's suddenly here. But do not call my mom a liar. She had nothing to gain from telling me that he was my father."

"Ok. That was rude of me. I apologize. But, do you want something? Did you come here hoping that you would get money or the recognition of being a surgical god's daughter? Because I can tell you now that it isn't easy."

"Dr. Grey, for my whole life I have been interested in the brain. How it works, why it works the way it does, and how to fix it when it isn't working. I thought it was just a strange thing about me until I asked my mom about my dad and decided to search for him. When I learned that he was a neurosurgeon, I felt like that part of me finally made sense. So, I studied. I studied hard so that one day I could become a great neurosurgeon like him and maybe, one day, I would get to meet him. A couple of years ago was the last time I looked him up and it said that he worked at Grey-Sloan. So I put in my application to do my internship here.

My first day, I get assigned to Dr. Shepherd. You can only imagine my excitement followed by disappointment when the Dr. Shepherd I was assigned to was female. Not that she isn't a great neurosurgeon, because she is, but she wasn't the great that I wanted to meet. I looked him up again last night and found out that he was dead. Then I dug a little deeper, found out what cemetery he was buried at, and then I came here to see his grave.

I don't want anything. I just wanted a chance to meet my father. I'm not even sure if I would have told him that I am his daughter. But I only wanted to meet him."

Dr. Grey takes a deep breath and then looks at me with teary eyes.

"You wouldn't have had to tell him. He would've taken one look at you and known. You look just like him. The curly brown hair, the blue eyes, it's a Shepherd thing. Derek had it, Amelia has it, my children have the blue eyes, and you, you've got both. Derek would have known, maybe not that you were his daughter, but he would've known that you were somehow related to him."

"Can I ask you a question? What was he like?"

"Oh, Eleanor, that's a question that has a very long answer." After a long pause, she starts again.

"Derek was kind and had the typical neurosurgeon arrogance. He was a good husband and a great father. He was the first man that I truly loved."

A small smile graces her face," His mother's maiden name was Maloney. He had four sisters, nine nieces, and five nephews. Maybe more now but he had a lot. He liked coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, and occasionally a good cigar. He liked to fly fish and he cheated when he did the Sunday crossword puzzles. He never danced in public, for good reason. His favorite novel was _The Sun Also Rises,_ his favorite band was The Clash, and his favorite color was blue, indigo, he didn't like light blue. He had a scar on his forehead from a motorcycle accident. When I met him he lived in a trailer on land that he didn't know what he was going to do with."

I have tears in my eyes after she tells me about him. "My favorite ice cream is coffee. Ever since I was a kid, everyone thought it was weird, but I love it. And I'm a horrible dancer. I tried to do the grinding thing in college, but, it always looked like I was having a mild seizure."

We both lightly chuckle and take a deep, cleansing breath. "Listen, Dr. Grey, I don't want anything. We don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. I'm not totally sure that I want people to know. So, we can just keep this between us, okay?"

"Ok. It can just be between us."

"Thank you for telling me about him." I walk past her and leave the cemetery.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thanks for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

"Oh, Derek." Meredith sighs as she sits down and starts to arrange the flowers she brought for Derek.

"You always wanted a lot of kids. I feel awful that Ellis will never get to know you and that you will never lay your eyes on her. But now you've got another daughter that you'll never lay eyes on. I know you wanted Ellis, you wanted more, but I don't know how you would react to Eleanor.

"She's smart, though. Already kind of has that arrogant neurosurgeon demeanor. She looks just like you, too. The minute she told me who she was, it clicked, that's why I thought she looked familiar.

"I wish you were here. I wish I knew how you would react to her. I think you would probably get a little broody but then you would realize that she's your's and you'd love her. Probably let her move in with us so she wouldn't have to pay rent so you could take care of her now because you missed out on it before.

"I know how hard this must be for her. I grew up without a father but when I went looking for mine, he was alive with his new family. Her father is dead and has a new family. She's working with her kinda sorta step mother and her aunt. That's gotta be hard.

"Derek, her and Bailey had a run in at the cafeteria the other day. Literally, Bailey ran into her and then proceeded to ask for her chocolate pudding. She was a natural with him. Maybe because she is just good with kids, you and Amelia are, or maybe she was natural around him because he's her brother.

"I know I don't ever ask this because I don't even know if I really believe it in, but, Derek if you could, would you send me a sign? Let me know what you want me to do. Eleanor said we could just keep it between us and that no one would ever have to know, but I think you would embrace her full force and wouldn't ever let her forget that she is your daughter. Just, let me know, Derek."

Meredith lets out one final sigh, wipes the tears of her cheeks, and presses a kiss to her fingertips before pressing them over Derek's name.

"I love you so much, Derek." Meredith finally stands and walks away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not know anything.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

"Let me tell you, that Rhett, already has such amazing skills in neuro. She's mine. I am going to take her under my wing and make her into a god." Amelia tells the lunch table filled with Alex, Meredith, and Maggie.

"We know. I swear all you do is sing Eleanor Rhett's praises. You would think she was the attending and you were the intern blinded by her talent." Alex tells her.

"She is good though. I was in the gallery when you had that aneurysm, she knew things a third-year resident would have trouble answering." Maggie says.

"Ok, we get it. She's good. She's going to be an amazing neurosurgeon." Meredith moans.

Amelia looks over at her, "What? Tell me you don't like her. She's nice and she's talented. That kind of talent is home grown. I wonder if her parents are surgeons, specifically neurosurgeons."

Meredith looks sharply over at Amelia, "Just because someone is a natural at surgery doesn't mean their parents are also surgeons. Some people are just good."

"Look at you, Mer. Your mom was a great general surgeon and now you are. Maybe her parents are neurosurgeons." Alex proves Amelia's point.

"Don't ask her about her parents. It will make her think she's only good because of them and then she will be cast into their shadow." Meredith says before she gets up and leaves the table.

* * *

The elevator doors open to reveal Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Grey.

"Rhett! How are you doing?" Dr. Shepherd greets me.

"I'm fine, thanks, Dr. Shepherd. How are you?"

"I'm great."

"Good. Dr. Grey, how are you doing."

"I'm good, thanks."

"So, Rhett, what do your parents do?" Dr. Shepherd asks me.

I look over at Dr. Grey before answering. "My mom is a biology teacher and well, I've never met my dad so, I wouldn't know."

"Oh, well that's too bad. I'm sorry, Rhett."

"It's alright." I tell her as she steps off the elevator leaving Dr. Grey and I alone.

"Did you tell her?" I ask Dr. Grey when the doors close.

"No. She was wondering if you were a from a family of surgeons today and I told her not to ask you."

"Alright, good. So she doesn't think anything?"

"No, Rhett. No one thinks you're even possibly Derek's daughter. I mean Alex did say you kinda look like Amelia, but she didn't think anything of it."

"Wait, Dr. Karev thinks I look like Dr. Shepherd?"

"I told you. You look like a Shepherd." Meredith tells me as she gets off the elevator.

 _I look like a Shepherd._


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

 **I apologize for not updating in so long.**

After a long shift, I am finally getting to leave the hospital. As I am walking to the front door, I see Meredith walking in with her three kids. The baby on her hip is wiggling as the other two are walking beside their mother. Bailey looks up and grins when he recognizes me.

"Elnor, hi!" Bailey yells and takes off running towards me letting go of his sister's hand.

I squat down and brace myself for the impact of his little body. "Hi, Bailey! How are you?"

Bailey gives me a tight hug. "I'm good. But mommy has to work so I gots to go to daycare." He says with a little frown.

"Well, I bet you have a lot of friends in daycare and they'll be excited to see you."

"Yeah, but I wanted to ride my bike. Momma said we could ride in the backyard but now we can't."

Meredith walks up with her little girls. "Bailey, what have I told you about running off?"

"Mommy, look, it's Elnor."

"Yes, I see."

I stand up as Dr. Grey directs her attention to me. "How are you, Rhett?"

"I'm good. You?"

"Well, I was a lot better before I got called in."

"Yeah, Bailey was telling me he had to go to daycare."

"I don't wanna go to daycare. I wanna ride my bike." Meredith's oldest speaks.

Meredith squeezes the little girl's hand. "I know Zola but mommy has to work. Why?"

"Because you're a doctor and doctors save lives."

"That's right Zola."

I am pretty impressed that Zola understands what doctors do and can be mature about it even though she really doesn't want to be there.

"Elnor, are you workin'?" Bailey asks as he plays with my hand.

"Um, no. I just got off."

Bailey's little face lights up as he looks at his mom. "Momma, Elnor can take us home and play with us so you can work!"

 _Oh, no. what did I just do?_

"Bailey, Eleanor might have plans. We can't just assume that she has plans. Do you have plans, Dr. Rhett?"

 _I don't. But do I tell her that I do and make the kids go to daycare when they want to ride bikes or do I take three kids to their house, which I don't even know where it is, and take care of them all day? If Dr. Grey is on call who knows when she'll be back home. What do I do?_

"Well, um, I don't have any plans, Dr. Grey."

 _I can't lie to those kids. They just want to ride bikes and they seem like good kids, I can handle this._

"Oh, well, do you mind taking the kids home?"

"No, I can watch them, no problem."

Bailey and Zola let out a very loud Yay!

Dr. Grey squats down and to look Bailey and Zola in the eyes. "Alright, you guys listen to Eleanor and do everything she says. Be good and if Ellis starts to get fussy, help Eleanor calm her down, okay."

The kids are jittery with excitement and quickly agree to be good.

Meredith hands me Ellis and the keys to her car. "Take my car, it's out front, and it'll be easier to just take mine then move the car seats around. Give me your keys and I'll take your care when I'm done."

After I gave my keys and she gave me directions to the house, the kids and I were on our way.

"Elnor, I am so excited. Can I show you all my bike tricks?" Bailey asks as he holds my and Zola's hand.

"Sure, Bailey."

* * *

I pull up in front of Dr. Grey's house. I had heard all kinds of stories about this house and it was like looking at a legend.

I get the front door open and the kids inside before they start running to the backyard.

"Come on, Elnor, let's go play! I wanna show you my bike."

I sit outside and watch the kids play for a while before Zola comes up and tells me she's hungry.

"Alright, sweetie, you ready for some dinner?"

We all walk into the kitchen and I have the kids wash their hands and sit on the bar stools while I try to figure out something for dinner.

"So, guys what do you want for dinner?"

"Chicken nuggets!" "Peanut butter and Jelly!" Zola and Bailey yell out, respectively.

"Ok. So we'll have both. What about Ellis? What does she eat?"

"Macaroni and cheese." Zola tells me. She really is such a good girl.

When everyone has dinner and is eating quietly, I look around that table and it hits me that I have spent the whole day taking care of my siblings. Bailey and I have had some sort of connection since the day in the cafeteria, and I wonder if it's because we're siblings or if he's just good with people.

I hear the door open and look up to see Dr. Karev walking through the kitchen.

"Uncle Alex!" The kids jump up and run to give him hugs.

"Hey, guys. What are you doing?"

"We played with Eleanor all day and she maked us dinner." Zola tells him.

"Well, it sounds like you guys have had a good day. You know what, why don't you guys go get your pajamas on. Zola, can you help Ellis?"

When Zola agrees, the kids head up stairs and I start cleaning up.

"Hey, you don't have to do that. You can just leave it. I'm sure you're tired and want to go home to rest."

"Yeah, those kids have a lot of energy. But I left my car with Dr. Grey so I'm kinda stuck here anyways."

"How did you end up watching the kids in the first place?"

"Well, I was walking out when Dr. Grey and the kids were walking in. Bailey saw me and asked if I could watch them so he could ride his bike. I didn't have anything to do so I told Dr. Grey I would watch them."

"Yeah, that Bailey loves riding his bike."

I chuckle and begin to tell Dr. Karev all about Bailey's bike tricks.

Soon, the kitchen is clean and we head into the living room.

"So, Dr. Karev, do you live here too?"

"Yeah, have on and off since our intern year. And we're not at the hospital right now so call me Alex."

"Ok. So you and Dr. Grey, you guys are really good friends, huh?"

"Yeah. We've seen each other through everything."

"It must be nice to have a friend like that."

"Yeah, it's pretty great. Except for when Meredith would walk in when I was about to have sex."

He chuckles and I look at him shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah, but that's when she was going through some stuff. She doesn't really do that anymore. But I guess that's partly because I haven't been getting sex lately."

 _And now it's awkward._

Alex turns on the TV and we watch some medical drama until Dr. Grey walks in.

"Hey. How were the kids?"

"Oh, they were great. They're up in bed now." I tell as she sits down in a chair.

"Thanks for watching them, Rhett. Sometimes it's hard making them go to daycare when I know they want to be home playing."

"Well, anytime. They were no trouble at all."

I stand up to leave. "I'll see you both later."

I walk towards the door, grab my purse, and walk out the door.

* * *

"That was really nice of her to watch the kids." Alex tells Meredith.

"Yeah, Bailey has really taken to her."

"You know, she's really nice and really pretty."

"Alex, she's an intern. Do you really wanna fall for another intern?"

"She's more than an intern. I mean, we were talking and she was really easy to talk to. Well, before I started talking about not getting any sex, but…"

"Wait, you told her you weren't getting any sex?"

"Yeah, I didn't mean to, it just happened."

They hear a knock on the door and Meredith groans as Alex goes to answer it.

* * *

"Hey, sorry. I got out to my car and realized that Dr. Grey still has my keys." I tell him when he opens the door.

"Oh, um, here they are." He says as he hands me my keys.

"Thanks." I turn to leave and hear the door shut and am surprised to hear Alex's voice.

"Hey, Eleanor?" I turn to see Alex with his hands in his pocket.

"Yeah?"

"Would you want to get a drink sometime?"

"Um, you're my boss. Isn't that kinda against the rules?"

"Well, no not really. But if you don't want to, that's fine." He starts to head back inside.

"Wait, Alex." He turns to look at me. "I would love to."

He grins and asks "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Yeah, my shift ends at nine."

"Ok. I'll see you at Joe's."

"Alright." I turn to leave.

 _I've got a date with Alex. Dr. Karev. Dr. Grey's best friend. My sort of stepmom's best friend. Crap._


	13. Chapter 13

CH 13

I walk into the locker room with my stomach churning. I can't tell if it's nerves about getting drinks with Alex tonight or what.

"Hey, are you okay? You look a little pale." Ruby asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My stomach hurts a little."

We make our way to our resident and wait to be given our assignments. I get assigned to Dr. Grey and leave to find her.

"Dr. Grey," I say as I approach the nurses' station and see her standing there. "I'm on your service today."

"Good, Rhett, I need you to do rounds on my patients in 3213, 3217, and 3128. I also need you to get the labs for 3211 and 3212."

"Alright." I head off to do the tasks with my stomach now really hurting. I try to calm myself down, telling myself that drinks are nothing to get nervous about, but it doesn't help.

* * *

Ruby and I have lunch together and by now my stomach is burning.

"You aren't eating?" Ruby asks as she sits down with her tray.

"No. My stomach is cramping so bad and I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Gross. Maybe you should get a soda and see if settles your stomach."

As I stand to get the soda, my pager goes off with a 911 from Dr. Grey.

"Ugh, I gotta go."

"Rhett, I need to go back in. Let's go, you're in." Dr. Grey says as she walks behind the gurney.

I follow Dr. Grey to the OR and watch her begin the surgery.

* * *

I can't help but rub my stomach a little as she performs the surgery.

"Rhett, Rhett?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Grey. What did you ask?"

"I asked what the next step is."

"Um, you dissect the liver."

"Right, but surgeons don't say um."

Dr. Grey asks in a lower voice, "Eleanor, are you alright?"

"Yeah, my stomach is just hurting a little."

I downplay my symptoms because in reality it feels like someone is taking a scalpel to the inside of my stomach and I'm sure if I have to open my mouth to answer another question, the only thing going to come out is vomit.

Finally, the surgery is over and I have to run to the restroom and throw up. Now I think that maybe I'm not nervous just sick.

I hear the restroom door open and a knock on my stall.

"Eleanor, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Open the door, Rhett."

I sigh and open the door to see Dr. Grey standing on the other side.

"Eleanor, what's wrong?"

She puts her head on my forehead, "You're burning up. What hurts?"

"My stomach hurts really, really bad."

Dr. Grey pulls me to my feet and takes me into an exam room.

"Ok, I'm going to do some blood work and we'll see what's wrong."

When Dr. Grey walks back into the room she asks if I know how to perform an appendectomy.

I start to tell her the steps when she laughs, "Rhett, I'm really glad you know but for my next appy, you'll be knocked out."

"What? Why?"

"Because my next appy is going to be performed on you."

"Oh, well okay. I guess if I have to have an appendectomy I'm glad the Head of General is doing it."

Dr. Grey giggles as she starts to wheel me doing to the OR.

* * *

After Eleanor's appy, I make my way home and find Alex moping on the couch.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask as I sit down beside him.

"I shouldn't have messed with another intern." He grumbles as he takes another drink of his beer.

"What are you talking about?"

"Eleanor. Last night I asked if she wanted to get a drink tonight after work. She fricken smiled and said yes. Probably smiled because an attending asked her out and she just said yes to screw me over."

I can't suppress the giggle that comes out.

"Why are you laughing? This isn't funny." Alex gets off the couch and storms into the kitchen.

I sigh and go into the kitchen. I see Alex sitting at the kitchen table looking really upset.

"Alex, you're really upset."

"No, I… I just, she's good with the kids. I thought if we liked each other and dated, then we could watch the kids together and stuff."

"Alex, do you know why I was late tonight?"

"No."

"I was performing an appendectomy on Eleanor."

Alex quickly turns his head to look at me. "Really?"

"Yeah." I smile at him.

"You mean, she's sick? She had surgery?"

"Yes, and I know that's why she didn't meet you at Joe's. And speaking from experience, when she was in pain, then on morphine, before the surgery, letting you know she wasn't able to make it, probably wasn't on her mind."

"Well, duh. She was in pain."

Alex jumps up out of the chair and heads for the door.

"Where are you going?"

Alex turns and smiles. "To see Eleanor."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thanks for all of the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

I wake up groggily and look around my hospital room. These rooms look so different when you're the patient laying in the bed than when you're the doctor talking about the patient's symptoms and treatments.

A shadow lingers near the door and I turn, expecting to see a nurse. However, I see Alex with a bouquet of flowers walking in.

Suddenly, I remember that I was supposed to meet him at Joe's after work. Instead, I had a meeting with Dr. Grey while being under anesthesia.

"Hi." Alex whispers to me.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Eh, I've been better." I try to joke.

"Yeah, I bet."

"I'm sorry I didn't meet you at Joe's."

"Don't apologize. Mer told me you were literally in surgery."

"Yeah. Do you wanna sit?" I ask pointing to the chair beside my bed.

"Sure." Alex sits in the chair and places the flowers on the table. "I bought these for you."

"Thanks, they're beautiful."

"So are you."

I blush and look away. Alex says it so easily that I almost want to believe him.

"So…" "Well…" We both start at the same time and little by little the awkwardness starts to fade away.

"Bailey was still talking about you today."

"Yeah? Those kids are so sweet. I really like them."

"You know, maybe once you're all healed we can plan to meet at Joe's again. If you still want to of course."

"I would love to. I was looking forward to it. I actually thought my stomach pains were coming from my nerves about tonight."

"Really? You were nervous?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I haven't gone on many dates. Not that tonight was a date, but, I haven't always been the optimal choice of the boys."

"That's because you've been hanging with boys and not men. I'm a man."

I look over at him and can't help but burst into laughter.

"I'm really sorry but that was funny."

"I am a man!"

I'm still having trouble containing my laughter. "I know you are." I say once my laughing is somewhat under control.

"You know, you're the second woman who's laughed at me when I am trying to be serious today. "

"Who's the other?"

"Mer."

"Why did she laugh at you?"

"It's not important."

"No. Tell me."

Alex sighs and almost looks embarrassed. "I told her I was upset because you had stood me up. Of course, that was before I knew you were having surgery."

I can't believe Alex was hurt. I didn't know it meant that much to him.

"Alex, I wouldn't have stood you up. If I didn't want to get drinks with you, I wouldn't have said yes in the first place. And if I had changed my mind, I would have told you in person, not just stand you up. I know how embarrassing that can be."

We both sit silently in the room until a nurse comes in and tells me I should go on a little walk and to my surprise, Alex volunteers to walk with me.

"So, why don't you tell me about yourself." Alex says when we start to walk slowly out of my room.

"Uh, well. I have a brother and a sister, Brooks and Samantha. My mom's a biology teacher and she married my step-dad, John, when I was ten. John's a history teacher. What about you?"

"I've got two brothers, Aaron and Nicky, my sister's name is Amber. I had a deadbeat dad and a crazy mom. I wrestled in college. I was also married once but she left me."

"Oh, I can't say I'm truly sorry about that. I am sorry about the deadbeat dad, though."

Alex looks at me with a cheeky smile that makes me feel pretty accomplished in my flirting skills.

"It all turned out for the better."

And now it's my turn to have the cheeky smile.

By the time we finish two laps around the floor and I'm exhausted. I also think I could way more than just like Alex Karev.

He helps me get back into bed, fixes my pillows, and pulls the blanket up around me.

"I'll come visit with you tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, Alex." I look up at him with a sleepy smile.

"Go to sleep." He softly commands as he strokes my hair. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He gently kisses me on the forehead and turns to leave the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Your reviews, follows, and favorites are very much appreciated!**

I am writing in a chart at the nurses' station when I sense people staring at me from behind. I turn around to see Amelia and Meredith looking at me with Cheshire grins.

"What?" I ask as I turn back to my chart.

"I heard someone volunteered to walk around with post-appy patient last night." Meredith starts.

"Not only was it just a patient, it was a pretty intern who happens to have a knack for neuro." Amelia adds.

"She also is a really good babysitter." Meredith says.

I grab the chart and turn around to look at them.

"Listen, Ella and I was supposed to hang out at Joe's anyway. Just because we did it here, sans alcohol, doesn't mean anything."

"Ohh, Ella is it." Meredith and Amelia say in sync.

I sigh and shake my head while walking away from them.

"Alex, come on. We were just joking." Meredith says, pulling at my arm.

"Listen, Alex. I am happy that you like Eleanor and that she seems to like you too. We're just having a little bit of fun teasing you, but we'll stop now." She says while Amelia nods.

"Yeah, Alex. Just don't distract her too much, I still want to turn her into a neuro god."

"I hate you both." I say while smiling at them and turn to walk away.

* * *

"So, Alex, how was your date?" Maggie asks as I sit with my lunch.

I had just left from Eleanor's room and after talking for a while, she became tired and I left so she could rest. I want to be cautious around her but when we talk, it feels so easy to just tell her everything and anything.

"Really, is the whole hospital talking about it?"

"Not really, I just wanted to know."

"Besides, you know this hospital is gossip mill." Amelia says while stabbing her salad.

"You remember what it was like when Derek and I first started dating. It was all anyone could talk about." Meredith says.

"I know. I just don't want that to happen to her though."

Meredith, Amelia, and Maggie all look at each other.

"You really like her." Meredith says.

"That's so sweet." Maggie adds.

"That's nice. But you better not distract her too much." Amelia says.

"Yeah, I know. Now, can we talk about something else." I say before taking a bite of my sandwich.

* * *

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

I look away from the terrible daytime TV show I was watching to see Dr. Grey walking in.

"I'm a little sore, but otherwise okay."

"Good."

Dr. Grey stands awkwardly in the middle of the room and I can tell she wants to talk about something. I have a feeling I know exactly what she wants to talk about. Alex.

"So, I guess we should talk about me dating Alex."

"Yeah, you know he calls you Ella right?"

"Yes, that's a nickname. You can use it too if you want."

"That's okay, Rhett."

We share a nervous chuckle.

"Do you want me to tell him?" This time we're sharing words.

Dr. Grey sighs and sits in the same chair Alex did last night.

"I don't know. I think if you guys get serious then you should tell him but right now, I'm not sure it's all that important for him to know."

"I guess you're right."

We sit in silence as we reflect on the secret we share and the decision we just made about it.

Dr. Grey moves to look at my chart. "Well, everything looks. I'll discharge you tomorrow."

"Sounds good."

After placing her signature on my chart, she smiles at me, then walks out of the room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I appreciate all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

After recovering and being cleared for work by Dr. Grey, I am standing at the nurses' station filling out charts for Dr. Shepherd. Sighing as I finally pick up the last one, I feel a pair of warm arms surround me. Quickly, I turn to see that the arms belong to a plump woman with short, spiky hair.

"Oh, I am so sorry." The woman jumps back, embarrassed. "I thought you were my daughter."

I chuckle uncomfortably, "Oh, that's alright. Um, is your daughter a doctor? I can page her for you."

"Yes she is, that's so nice of you. Her name is Dr. Amelia Shepherd. She's the head of neurosurgery." She states proudly.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd, I am actually on her service today. I'll page her for you."

As I turn to ask a nurse to page Dr. Shepherd, my mind is going crazy. I just hugged my grandmother. Actually, I just got hugged by my grandmother but same difference.

I turn back to look at her and she's just standing there, smiling. She seems like she would be the kind of grandmother to bake cookies and have a candy jar sitting on the kitchen counter. She probably had special toys at her house and let her grandkids sleep in her bed.

"I'm Eleanor Rhett, by the way. I'm an intern here."

"It is very nice to meet you, Dr. Rhett. My name's Carolyn."

"It's nice to meet you, too."

Dr. Shepherd makes her way to the nurses' station from behind me. "Rhett, you paged?"

I turn to answer her. "Yes, I found someone who belongs to you."

Mrs. Shepherd steps from behind me, "Actually, I found her."

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's been a while since I've seen you. I also wanted to see the kids, finally meet Ellis and Owen."

"Both of whom you could've met if you came to my wedding."

"Amelia, please, I am sorry that I didn't come. But I would like to make amends and move on."

Before can reply, walks up and distracts them both.

"Rhett, what time are you done tonight? Zola has been begging to show you her science project."

"I'm off at six. Can I stop by then?"

"Yeah, I'm done at five so I'll already be there."

"Meredith? How are you?" asks.

"Mrs. Shepherd! I didn't see you there."

"Yes, well, I just came to visit with Amelia and hopefully the kids, too. I would love to see little Ellis in person."

"Sure, um, you can come over after my shift. It ends at six."

"Great, I'll see you in the woods then."

"Actually, we're living in my mother's old house, now." Meredith explains.

"Okay, then. I'll see you there."

Meredith gives a tense smile and walks away.

Mrs. Shepherd turns to me and smiles once more. "Dr. Rhett, I overheard you talking with Meredith and I guess I will be seeing you there as well. I'll probably cook dinner, so come with an appetite."

She pats my shoulder as she and Amelia walk away.

* * *

"Alex. Hey!"

"Ella." Alex gives a smile as we both walk down a hall. "How's your first day back?"

"Good. What time are you off tonight?" I ask as we start to walk in sync.

"Seven. Why?"

"Zola wants to show me her science project so I'm going to Dr. Grey's after my shift. Also, Mrs. Shepherd is here and said she was making dinner tonight there."

"Wait, Mrs. Shepherd, as in Shepherd's mother?"

"Yeah…"

"Mer must be freaking out." Alex mutters.

"Well, she seemed surprised to see her here but she did say she could come over."

"Yeah, so you're going to be at the house tonight?"

"Yep, I'll be there."

"Ok, see ya later." Alex gives me a kiss on the cheek and turns down another hallway.

* * *

Meredith lets me in after I knock on the door. Before we can even greet each other, Zola is there to take me up to her room and show me her project. When I walk into her room, I see a bright and glittery planetarium, Zola is quick to point out all of the planets and the sun. I'm really impressed with it.

"Wow, Zola! You did a great job!"

"Thanks, Mommy and Uncle Alex helped me."

"Well, I think it looks great."

We start to head down stairs and Zola runs off to play with her siblings and I go into the kitchen to see if anyone needs help.

Mrs. Shepherd is stirring something delicious smelling on the stove while Meredith and Amelia stand around talking with her.

"Dr. Rhett, I am so glad you could make it."

"Thanks, it smells great in here. And please call me Eleanor."

"Or Ella, uh." Amelia teases with a grin.

I laugh, "Yeah that could work too. Although the kids have taken to calling me Elnor."

"Mom, Eleanor has a great knack for neuro. I'm going to train her to become one of the best neurosurgeons Grey Sloan has ever seen."

"Really? What inspired you to choose neuro?" Mrs. Shepherd asks.

"Oh, well, I just think it's interesting." I say as I look at Meredith. We both know why I chose neuro but I can't actually spill my DNA in front of my kinda grandmother and aunt.

"You know both Amelia and Derek had such a natural ability at neuro. They were good at other things, of course, but neuro always came naturally to them. Is it the same for you, Eleanor?"

"Yes. I just don't find anything else as exciting as neuro."

"Hey!" Meredith buts in playfully.

We're all laughing and don't notice Owen walk in until I feel a pair of arms around me. Expecting Alex, I turn around and can't help but shriek when I see the arms belonging to the red head.

"Owen, what are you doing? I'm over here." Amelia asks him as he starts to blush with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, Rhett." Dr. Hunt stutters out.

"That's alright. It's actually the second time that has happened today." I tell him.

"I told you she looks like Amelia." Alex says now suddenly appearing in the kitchen.

"You know, Eleanor." Mrs. Shepherd starts, "You do look an awful lot like Amelia, but I think you look more like my Derek. Do you have any Shepherd blood in you, my husband did have a lot of cousins?"

"I uh, um, am not sure." I stutter while looking around the room trying to not look at Meredith.

"Well, the food's done. Let's get started with dinner." Mrs. Shepherd says walking the last dish to the table.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

I don't know if I can keep the secret any longer. I'm sitting across from my grandmother and in between my aunt and step-mother. I also feel like Mrs. Shepherd knows something. Why would she just randomly ask about my lineage? It's not a normal thing to ask someone you barely know.

Alex says something to Bailey that makes him giggle. That's the other thing. Zola, Bailey, and Ellis are my siblings. What if one day they find out that I'm not just some intern that babysat them and dated their Uncle Alex? Will they hate me for not telling them?

"So, Eleanor, where are you from?" Carolyn asks breaking my train of thought.

"I'm from Maine."

"Oh, Maine is beautiful. When we would go visit Derek at Bowdoin it was always such a nice place."

"Yeah, Bowdoin's great. I did my undergrad there."

"And where did you go to medical school?"

"Harvard."

"See mom. Told ya she was great." Amelia adds.

"Yes, you did. So how did you find your way to Seattle?"

"Oh, well, I figured since I spent my whole life on the east coast, I should give the west coast a try."

The table lightly chuckles and everyone goes back to eating semi-silently, a few giggles coming from the kids.

I go back to cutting my chicken when I sense someone looking at me. I glance up to see Carolyn's eyes going back and forth between me and Amelia, almost like she knows we're related.

Amelia is paged to the hospital while Alex and I are whisked away by the kids leaving Meredith and Carolyn to clean up the kitchen. When I walk to the bathroom, I hear them talking, specifically, I hear them talking about me.

"Meredith, how much do you know about Eleanor?"

"Well, I know she's a really great intern, one of the best in this class, and she really is great in neuro. Amelia isn't making it up or singing her praises too loudly, she's a natural."

I can feel my heart swell with pride when Meredith says I'm good. I always feel great when Amelia says it but to hear Meredith say it, really makes me feel good.

"Yes, but what about her family? Do you know anything about them?"

"No, why would I?"

"I don't know. The children seem so smitten with her, as does your friend Alex, I just thought maybe that she would have said something to you."

"Carolyn, why are you so interested in her family? I mean, I don't want to be rude, but, asking her if she was somehow a Shepherd. Don't you find that a little strange?"

"Well maybe, but Meredith, there's something you need to know."

"What?"

"Years ago, when Derek was in medical school, a letter was sent to him at the house. I didn't want to open it but I felt like something was telling me to. It was from a girl he dated in college, saying that she needed to tell him something. She said she had a little girl and that the little girl was his daughter. Now, you see, Derek had just brought Addison home for the first time and I didn't think they were really right for each other but Derek was so in love with her. I knew that if I told him, Addison would run for the hills. I didn't want Derek to lose the woman he loved and gain a daughter all in one fell swoop. I also didn't think Derek would be able to handle being a father while in med school, so I never told him about the letter.

The girl who wrote the letter said that their baby's name was Eleanor. Eleanor Rhett. And that intern has the same name and she looks just like Derek. Don't you think? I mean maybe it could just be a coincidence but…"

"It's not."

* * *

Carolyn knew. My grandmother knew that her son had a daughter but never felt the need to tell him. I could have known him but his mother, my grandmother, never told him.

I also didn't know that my mom sent him a letter. I never asked if my mother knew how to contact him and she never told me she had a way to. I just can't believe that all this time, there was a letter from my mother to my father telling him of my existence but the letter was intercepted by my grandmother. My mom must have thought that all this time, Derek simply didn't care that he had a daughter. And my dad spent all of my life never even knowing that he had a daughter.

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes when I hear Alex yell my name.

I walk into the kitchen where he's dishing out ice cream for the kids while Carolyn stands with her mouth slightly agape and Meredith with small tears in her eyes.

"Ella, would you like some ice cream?"

"Um, no, I, I don't think so. Actually, I think I'm going to head home."

"Elnor, you can't leave!" Bailey whines.

"Yeah, Ella, we're going to watch a princess movie and eat ice cream. You have to stay." Zola reasons.

"Come on, Ella, you know you want to stay and watch a princess movie and have ice cream." Alex says with sparkles in his eyes.

"Okay, I'll stay."

Alex walks over with a bowl of ice cream and kisses me on the cheek. He grabs my hand, both of our free hands holding bowls of ice cream, "Let's go kids. Our movie awaits."

The kids grab their bowls and head towards the living room.

I managed to stand in the kitchen without looking at Meredith or Carolyn but I know all they did was look at me.

Once Alex gets the movie started, he comes back to the couch and sits beside me. Ellis is on his lap while Bailey sits on mine and Zola is on the other side of me. It feels good to be surrounded by people but I can't focus on the movie.

All I keep thinking about is how Carolyn did know that I was related to her. I also can't believe that Meredith just blurted out that I was related to her. I mean, we agreed to keep it a secret, but I guess if Carolyn has kept it a secret this long, then she's a fantastic secret keeper.

* * *

"What do you mean it's not?" Carolyn says as soon as the kids, Alex, and Eleanor leave.

I take a deep breath, "On her first day as an intern, she asked about Derek. She didn't know that he had died and asked Amelia when his shift was. Then we saw her staring at Amelia. I thought, maybe she just had a crush on Derek and wanted to meet him. Then I went to visit Derek's grave, she was there and told me everything. How she hoped she could meet him but wasn't sure if she wanted him to know that she was his daughter.

Of course, that's crazy because you can look at her and wonder if she's somehow related to him. She has his hair, his eyes, she smiles dreamily like he did, heck she even leans on stuff."

"There's no denying that she's his daughter."

"Except that's what you did." I look at her with a fire. "Carolyn, when you got that letter, you shouldn't have even opened it, you should've left it for Derek. But at the very least, you should've told him that he had a daughter."

"Meredith, you don't understand."

"No, all he wanted was kids. He never got the chance to meet Ellis and my heart breaks for her and Derek every day. But now, knowing he had another daughter… He would have loved her. And you know it. He would've been such a great dad to her. He missed out on never knowing a little girl that he would have seen grow into a woman. The only daughter he would have seen grow into a woman. And that is on you."

Before Carolyn can reply, Alex clears his throat and we both turn to see him and Eleanor standing there.

* * *

The kids eventually fall asleep so Alex and I carry them up to their bedrooms. When we come back down, we can hear Meredith and Carolyn fighting in the kitchen.

"...He missed out on never knowing a little girl that he would have seen grow into a woman. The only daughter he would have seen grow into a woman. And that is on you." Meredith is really letting Carolyn have it and unknown to Alex, it's over me.

Alex clears his throat alerting them of our presence. "Is everything okay in here?"

There's a long awkward pause and I know this is it. I have to tell Alex. I just hope that he understands and that he doesn't run off, never wanting to speak to me again.

"They're fighting over me." I tell him.

I am now the center of attention for everyone.

"What?" Alex asks. "Why would they be fighting over you?"

I look to Meredith who gives a quick nod.

"They're fighting over me, because…" I take a deep breath. "I'm Derek's daughter."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

Alex looks at me in shock. "You're what?"

"I am Derek Shepherd's daughter."

"How do you know? What proof do you have?"

"His name is on my birth certificate. I also have a picture of him and my mom when they were in college and my mom's word. I asked her about him a couple of years ago and that's when she told me everything."

"When were you going to tell me?"

Alex's face looks like a mix between hurt and anger. I understand why he's feeling both emotions. The girl he's dating just dropped a bombshell about her paternity and I get that he's hurt that I didn't tell him. But we just started dating and I didn't know how he would react. I also wanted to wait until we were more serious. I didn't just want to tell him, have us break up, and then he also know the secret. Or worse, have him spread it around the whole hospital.

"I don't know, Alex."

"Great, just great. I can tell you about my crazy mom and my deadbeat dad but you can't tell me about your father. Do you really not trust me?"

"Alex, how was I supposed to tell you? 'Oh, by the way, my dad's Derek Shepherd. Yes, the same Derek Shepherd that you knew and worked with. The same one that was married to your best friend.' Do you really think that would've been the best way for me to tell you?"

"I think any way you told me would've been better than having to find out through Meredith and Carolyn fighting."

Alex takes one last look at Meredith and Carolyn, then finally me and walks out of the kitchen.

* * *

As I am standing here I wonder what I am going to say to Carolyn. Should I ask her why she kept my father from me in a mean or nice way? I am so mad at her that I can barely stand it. I don't think I've ever been this mad at anyone in my life.

I look at her and she's staring at me in shock. I don't know if it's from having confirmation that I am her granddaughter or because of my fight with Alex. She also has tears in her eyes. She probably thought she would never meet me. I also wonder if now her misjudgment is weighing heavy on her because the person connecting us is dead.

"So, you knew?" I ask Carolyn.

"What do you mean?" She asks currently oblivious to the fact that I overheard her talking with Meredith.

"I heard what you told Meredith. My mom sent a letter to your house for my father and not only did you open it, you also kept the contents of that letter away from him. Squashing all hopes that my mother had that one day my father could meet me. Keeping him and I away from each other with him never knowing that I existed.

I came here looking for him. That crap I told you about wanting to see what the west coast was like was a complete lie. I never cared about the west coast, I hate the damn rain and I moved to a place where all it does is freaking rain. I moved here because after I finally worked up the courage to ask about my father and then look him up, the search said that he worked here. Only I searched too soon and didn't find out that he was dead until I came here. After I worked with his sister and his wife and met his son, I found out that I would never actually meet him.

I mean, what were you thinking? You told Meredith that you were afraid that his girlfriend would run off or that he wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility. But what about me? Or my mother? We were all alone for 10 years until she married my stepfather. She had to handle all of the responsibilities on her own. She had to be mom and dad to me for 10 years.

And me? I had to wonder every day while I wasn't good enough for my daddy to want me. Except I don't know if he didn't want me because he didn't even know about me. Because his mother took that chance away from him without him even knowing.

When I asked my mom about him, she never told me about the letter she sent. Probably because it hurt her just as much as it would've hurt me. She never said that he didn't want me even though she probably thought that. She only ever told me the best about him.

Did you think about how it would affect me? Derek lived his life just fine. Lived and died, had a beautiful family, was seemingly well liked at work. But what about me? Did you think about the little girl that was written about in the letter when you decided to throw it away?"

I stop and am suddenly aware of the tears that are streaming down my face. My chest is heaving and I feel like I just ran a really long distance. I look at Meredith who also has tears running down her face. Finally, I look at Carolyn, who looks guilty and is also crying.

"I didn't throw it away." Carolyn starts. "The letter, I didn't throw it away. I did think about how keeping Derek away from you would affect you but at the time I had to think more about how meeting you would affect him. I understand that it was wrong and that it certainly wasn't my decision to make. But a little girl, a baby, is a lot for someone to handle. I know, I had 5 babies with a husband and each time it was hard.

I am sorry that you had to live thinking that your father didn't want you. But if it is any consolation, your mother seems to have done a great job raising you. I am also sorry that you rearranged your life to meet Derek only to learn that that opportunity was forever gone. I would give anything for you to be able to meet him now."

"If you think your apologies are going to make me feel better or in some way want to forgive you, you're wrong."

"Carolyn, why don't you head up to Amelia's room and go to bed. I think it would be better if we stopped this for now and maybe regrouped in the morning." Meredith suggests.

Carolyn takes one last look at me and then heads up to bed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows.**

Meredith and I are left in the kitchen after Carolyn leaves.

"Eleanor, are you okay?" Meredith asks as I sit down on a bar stool and put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the bar.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know."

I hear the stool beside me and look over to see Meredith sit down. She leans over and puts an arm around me and coaxes my head to leave my hands and rest on her shoulder. We sit in silence for a while before I feel the dam starting to break and I start to cry.

After what feels like forever, the tears dry up and wipe my face. "I just, she knew, all this time, my whole life, that I was out there, wanting and needing a dad, but she did nothing about it. She just went on like nothing was wrong, saw her son all the time and didn't even try to tell him that he was a father. I mean, how could she do that to us? How could she look at her son and know he was someone's dad and not do anything about it?"

The tears start flowing again and Meredith gathers me in her arms holding me. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now, holding her long lost step-daughter in such a motherly way. After finding out about me, I thought she wouldn't want to see me ever again, but she's welcomed me into her home.

"Whoa, who died?" With all the crying and hugging, neither of us heard Amelia walk in.

"Amelia, no one died." Meredith answers.

"Well, something happened because Alex is outside looking like someone ran over his dog and you two are in here crying."

I look up to see that she's right, we are both crying. With all of my tears, I didn't notice that Meredith was also crying. I also can't believe that Alex is still here, he does live here, but I figured he'd go to Joe's or somewhere, not stay.

"So, are either of you going to tell me what's going on?" Amelia asks as she goes to the cupboard and gets a glass. "Where's mom?" She asks while filling the glass with water.

I know I have to tell her. Everyone knows and it would be cruel to leave her out of the secret. It would be even worse to keep it from her and then have her find out at the hospital because who knows how long it will be before everyone there knows, too.

"We had a bit of an argument but it'll be okay."

"Mer, you and mom had an argument? Okay, I can believe that. But if you two had the argument why is Rhett crying and why does Alex look so upset?"

"Well, they were kind of drug into the fight."

"So, now it's a fight. How were they drug into it?" Amelia now directs her attention to me. "Rhett, what's wrong?"

I open and close my mouth a couple of times but nothing comes out.

"Eleanor?" Amelia persists. I know there's no way I can't not tell her.

"I, um, have to tell you something."

"Okay… What is it?"

"I, um, you are, uh…"

"Rhett, spit it out."

"Amelia, give her a minute." Meredith says.

I take a deep breath, "I'm Derek's daughter."

The glass falls to the floor with a crash.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you remember when I asked you about Derek?"

"Yes."

"I was asking because he's my father. I was hoping to talk to him or at the very least see him. When I was assigned to your service, I was told that I would be working with Dr. Shepherd. No one ever specified that it was Amelia Shepherd so I assumed that I would be working with my father."

"But instead you were working with me."

"Yes."

"How do you know that you're Derek's daughter?"

"My mom. She has a photo of them from college and his name his on my birth certificate."

"Well, that doesn't mean he's your dad. I'm sure a lot of people have pictures with him. And people can lie on birth certificates, you know."

"Amelia, there's more." Meredith says while taking a deep breath. "Eleanor's mom sent a letter to your mother's house after she was born. Carolyn opened the letter, read that Derek was a father, and then never told him about it. Although, look at her, I mean doesn't she look like a Shepherd? Today alone, two people, your mother and your husband, mistook Eleanor for you."

Amelia, Meredith, and I look at each other in silence.

I can't believe that this morning I was fantasizing about what it would be like to have Carolyn as a real grandmother growing up and now I know that Carolyn was my grandmother growing up, only I didn't know it. She could've been in my life from the beginning, her and my father, but a letter fallen into the wrong hands took all of that away.

What if she hadn't have read that letter? Would Derek had been in my life and been a good dad? Or, like Carolyn suspected, would he buckle under the pressure and ran away? Would Addison have run or would she have stuck it out? I don't know that whole story between the two of them but obviously, they didn't work out anyway.

Would Derek have still met and married Meredith? Would Bailey and Ellis even exist? Would Zola still be my sister or would she have been adopted by another family?

Maybe Derek and my mom would've gotten back together. My mom's never told me why they broke up but maybe they would've rekindled their love and be together.

If Carolyn would've told Derek about the letter, maybe he still wouldn't have been apart of my life but maybe he would still be alive. If she had told him about the letter, maybe I would still have the chance to know him.

Thoughts of Alex start to override the what if thoughts. Why would he just be sitting outside? He lives here, has a bedroom here, so why didn't he just go to his room? Was he hoping to see me when I left? Or maybe he just wanted a breath of fresh air.

"Do you think Alex is still outside?" I ask the room, quietly breaking the silence.

"Maybe, but you might want to leave him alone right now." Meredith advises.

"The last time I left him out of the loop, he found out my biggest secret because of a screaming match between you and Carolyn." I tell her as I stand from my bar stool.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I apologize for not updating in so long. Hopefully, followers, repeat reviewers, and people who have favorited this story are still interested.**

I walk out the front door and see Alex sitting on the swing. He has his elbows balanced on his knees and his face in his hands. His position is mirroring the one I had earlier.

"Alex?"

He looks up at me with sadness in his eyes but anger on his face.

"What? Wanna tell me that by some weird twist, Mer's also your mom?"

That stung, but I can't say I didn't expect it.

"No. She's not my mom." I walk over and ease down onto the swing.

"Alex, I know you must be hurt and confused. Will you let me explain?" When Alex doesn't respond I take that as a yes. "When I was 10 years old, my mom got married. With the arrival of a stepfather, I started to wonder about my father. I was 12 when I finally got the courage to ask my mom about him. It might have been because my sister, Sam, was born and I saw her with her father. Anyways, my mom told me about my father, Derek Shepherd. When I looked him up, it said that he was a neurosurgeon, a great one. Finally, after years of trying to figure out why I love learning about the brain, it finally clicked. I loved the brain because it was in my blood to love the brain.

When I was 17, trying to figure out what to study and where to go to college, I looked him up again. This time I learned that he worked at the then Seattle Grace - Mercy West Hospital. So I studied, got good grades, graduated top of my class and put in an application to be an intern at the newly named Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.

My first day, I was on Dr. Shepherd's service. Instead of being my father, it was his sister, my aunt. I then found out that Derek had died and I would never get the chance to meet him.

Tonight, I met my grandmother and found out that my mom had sent a letter to her house for Derek telling him about me. Only, he never read the letter because Carolyn hid it from him.

Alex, I know you're hurt and confused because I didn't tell you. I just didn't know how. I was afraid that you would tell people and then the whole hospital would know and I don't want them to. So, if you couldn't tell them, I'd appreciate it."

Finally Alex looks up at me and he looks more hurt than before.

"You really think I would tell people? I know how the hospital works, how gossip is spread around and how if something happens in the morning, everyone knows by lunch. I would've never told anyone because I know what it's like to be gossiped about in the hospital.

What I don't know is why you didn't think to tell me? Why you didn't think you could trust me? I've told you things about my family that I've never told anyone. But, for some reason, you didn't think to return the favor."

Alex and I sit in on the swing with only the sound of crickets.

"Look, I get it if you don't want to see me anymore."

"Ella, I just need a minute. I still want to see you. If you're anything like Derek, then I know you have magic because Derek had used all kinds of magic on Meredith."

"So, what now?"

Alex finally looks at me without the sadness. "Now, we sit here. I'm going to wrap my arm around you. And we're just going to sit here, together, until we get tired. Then, you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"Or maybe, we could both sleep in your bed. I mean, just sleep, not have sex because that would be inappropriate with all the kids in the house. Plus my sort of stepmother, aunt, and grandmother. It's also a little too soon in my opinion. You haven't even taken me on a proper date yet. So, just sleep. No sex."

"Are you sure you're not Meredith's daughter because that was a lot of rambling. I don't think you even took a breath."

We both chuckle and start swinging lightly. Everything might just be okay.

I grab the broom and dustpan to start cleaning up the broken glass.

"So, Eleanor is Derek's daughter."

"Yes."

"How long have you known?"

"Amelia, listen.."

"No, Meredith. I mean, come on, I know that most of the time I am not your favorite person but you should've told me. She's Derek's daughter. She's as much as my neice as Zola and Ellis. How did you find out?"

"Apparently she's a bit of a Nancy Drew. She searched for Derek's gravesite and when I went to visit him, she was there. She told me everything and asked about him. I told her as much as I could while being in shock that she was there."

"I can't believe it."

"Me neither. Sometimes I watch her at the hospital and she's so much like Derek. She looks like him, she leans on things, and tilts her head the way he did. It's always hurt knowing that Ellis will never meet him, but knowing he has two daughters he will never meet, kills me."

"You know, maybe in some weird way it's a good thing Eleanor never met him. Now she and Ellis will share something."

I grab a glass from cupboard and start filling it with water from the sink. "I don't think I am going to tell the kids about Daddy's other daughter."

"Well you don't have to tell them now, but it's something to think about in the future."

"I guess. I am going to head up to bed now."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

After such a long, emotionally exhausting day, I finally crash into my comfrotable bed and go to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I know it's been a REALLY long time but I have finally updated. I have another chapter written and ready to go that I hope to post in the next couple days. Please let me know if you're still interested and want me to continue. I hope to be more regular in my postings.**

I'm barely awake and can feel someone staring at me. I'm not quite ready to open my eyes, so I lean further into Alex's warm embrace behind me. After a few minutes, I can't take the staring anymore, so I open my eyes and see a little blonde boy in Hulk pajamas looking at me.

"Good morning, Bailey." I say to him groggily.

"Hi, Elnor. " The little boy giggles back. "Why are you in Uncle Alex's bed?"

 _Uh oh._ "Well, you see, Bailey, I stayed a little too late last night and instead of going all the way home, Uncle Alex said I could sleep in his bed."

"With him?"

 _Damn, when did kids get so smart?_ "Uh, yeah. You know like a sleepover."

"Oh, ok. Do you know how to make waffles?"

I breathe a sigh of relief at how quickly kids can change their thoughts. "I do." I tell him as I get out of bed. I grab his little hand, "Let's go make some for everyone."

With one last glance at sleeping Alex, Bailey and I go down to the kitchen and start making the waffles.

"Should we add chocolate chips to some of them, Bailey?"

"Yeah, Elnor!"

I laugh and turn towards a cupboard and hear footsteps coming down the stairwell. I turn around and see Carolyn paused in the doorway with wide eyes.

"Grandma!" Bailey cheers.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Eleanor, hello." She faintly smiles at me. I just stare at her, wondering how she has the audacity to greet me, much less smile at me. "How did you sleep?" Carolyn turns her attention back to Bailey.

"Good. Me and Elnor are making waffles." Bailey gestures to all of the ingredients on the counter and the few already made waffles. "Elnor said we can add chocolate chips to them."

"Well, they certainly look delicious. Perhaps I could make some eggs and bacon?"

"Yeah, make some eggs, Grandma."

Carolyn has her attention on me though.

"Sure, Carolyn, that would be great." I sigh, regardless of how I feel, I'm reminded of Bailey's presence and we have to keep up the whole I'm not your long-lost older sister who your grandmother knew about long before your existence act.

Carolyn finished the eggs and bacon as I finish the waffles and Bailey gets out the orange juice. Surprisingly, everyone is still asleep, so I send Bailey upstairs to get everyone up.

"So, last night was something, huh?" Carolyn says to me.

"I'm not really up for small talk, _Grandma._ " I snip back.

"Listen, I know I made a mistake, but I think now we can at least try to get to know each other, Eleanor."

"You know who I wanted to get to know? My dad. But guess what, that won't ever happen."

"I know, Eleanor. But with me, Amelia and Meredith, you can get to know him through us. It's the only way now. Plus you have three other aunts and a ton of cousins that knew him and can share their memories of him with you."

"Oh, are you going to tell them about me? You did such a good job at letting my dad know."

"What's your daddy's name?" A small voice breaks the argument between Carolyn and me.

I turn and see Zola standing there holding Meredith's hand. Ellis is up on Alex's hip with Bailey dancing around him.

"Um, Zola my stepdad's name is John."

"Does Grandma know him?"

"She doesn't, sweetie. Look at all the waffles Bailey and I made. Are you hungry?"

Once her attention is on the breakfast, I make eye contact with Meredith and then Alex. The air that was once thick with tension is slowly starting to break and we all eat breakfast.

Meredith and Carolyn clean up and Alex and go outside to watch the kids play.

"So, are you feeling any better?" Alex asks as he plays with my hand.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Things got a little rough with Carolyn this morning and then with Zola, I'm just glad I could distract her."

"Yeah, sometimes she's like a dog with a bone. Once she knows a little bit, she wants to know everything. She's also a little too smart with her own good."

"I just keep thinking about my mom and how different things would have been if Derek would have known. I also keep thinking about why my mom and him broke up and why she waited to tell him about me until after I was born. There's just so much that I never asked her and I really didn't care about the answers until now."

"Ella, maybe you should give her a call and ask her all your questions. Does she know why you wanted to come out to Seattle? Does she even know about you researching Derek?"

"No. I just told her that Grey-Sloan was one of the best teaching hospitals in the country, which it is, but I never told her about Derek. She doesn't know about all the research and she certainly doesn't know about finding an aunt and grandmother, let alone the stepmother and siblings."

"Does she know about me?" I look over at him and he has the cutest smirk on his face and I can't help but to lean over and kiss it off him.

"No, she doesn't know about you either. You still have a date to Joe's to take me out on, you know?"

"Oh, I know, trust me I haven't forgotten."

"Well, good, because I'm still waiting."

"Listen, why don't you go up to my room and call your mom, ask her all your questions. After you get done talking to her, I'll take you to Joe's."

"You really think that now is a good time to talk to her and tell her everything? With Meredith, Carolyn, and the kids here?" I ask, hoping he'll say no, so I can put off that phone call.

"Yeah, I think the sooner you do it the better. And if you do it now, you won't be alone when you get off the phone."

"Ok." I sigh and stand up. As I move towards the door to go back into the house, Alex grabs my hand.

"Hey, Eleanor? Take your time, it'll be alright. I'll be right here and as soon as you get off the phone, we'll go to Joe's if you're up to it, and if not, we'll eat ice cream and watch a movie, ok?"

"Thanks, Alex. I'm pretty sure I'll be up to for a drink after a phone call with my mother, regardless of what we talk about."

We both chuckle and I go into the house and up the stairs to Alex's room. I sit on the bed and my thumb hovers over Mom on my phone. All I have to do is hit the button and it'll dial. That's all. Finally, I do it and put the phone up to my ear. It rings a couple of times.

"Hello?"

 **Thanks for reading. Please leave a review and let me know if you're still interested. If not, that's totally fine.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

 **I'm so glad that many of you still seem interested in this story. Thank you for the reviews.**

I sit on the bed and my thumb hovers over Mom on my phone. All I have to do is hit the button and it'll dial. That's all. Finally, I do it and put the phone up to my ear. It rings a couple of times.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" She says again, "Eleanor? Are you there?"

"Yeah, Mom. It's me. Um, how are you?"

"I'm good, Ella. How are you? How's the internship going?"

"It's good, Mom. I'm learning a lot and everyone has been pretty nice so far." _Here we go._

"Really? Have you met anyone special?" I knew she would ask that. Mom has always wanted me to get a boyfriend and " _have someone to spend time with."_ Like spending 60 or more hours a week with people during the internship isn't enough.

"Yeah, Mom. I've actually met a few special someones."

"Oh, really? Well, tell me about them."

"Well, there's Alex. He's a doctor, too. He's a bit older than me but he's been really great. It isn't anything serious right now but I think eventually it could turn into something more."

"That's great, honey. What about the others?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." _This is it. Bite the bullet. No anesthesia._ "Mom, I met Derek Shepherd's family."

Mom is silent on the other end of the phone. The only sign that she hasn't hung up is the faint noise of her breathing in and out. "His family, huh? Have you met him?" She finally asks.

"No. He actually, um, he died a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. Mom, why did you and Derek break up?"

"Eleanor, do we really have to get into this? It was forever ago."

"I know, Mom, but I came all the way to Seattle to meet him and now I never will. It didn't bother me before, not knowing anything about your relationship with Derek, but now I want to know."

"You went to Seattle for Derek? I thought Grey-Sloan was one of the best teaching hospitals. Why did you lie about your real intentions about going to Seattle?"

"Mom, I didn't lie." I stand up and run my fingers through my hair and start pacing back and forth. "Grey-Sloan is one of the best teaching hospitals. Meeting Derek was just going to be a happy coincidence. I know you're probably mad and all of this is a shock to you, but will you please just tell me about why you broke up?"

"Ella", my mom sighs, "we broke up for the same reasons everyone breaks up at the end of college. I wanted to stay in Maine and start working as a teacher. Derek wanted to go back to New York and go to Columbia for medical school. We didn't want to do the long distance thing and as much as we liked each other, I think we both knew we would never get married, so we just decided to end it."

"When did you find out you were pregnant? Did you try to tell him about me before I was born?"

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was really scared. The day before I had had a job interview and had felt really good about it. I was feeling kind of bloated and that morning I realized I was late. I took the test and it turned positive. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how Derek would react. I knew that while we were dating, one of his sisters had a baby and he was so excited, went and bought a Bowdoin onesie for the baby and when his sister went into labor, he missed some classes so he could go see the brand new baby. But that was his sister's baby, not his. One that when it was hungry or needed a diaper change he could hand it back. I didn't know if he would be that excited about his own.

I knew deep down that he wouldn't ask me to get an abortion, but I also knew that even if he did, I couldn't go through with it. So, I decided to keep you a secret. I also knew that he was in medical school, he didn't have time to get a job and he couldn't take care of you financially. I also knew he couldn't just pack everything up and come back to Maine. As much as I wanted him to know, I knew I wasn't going to leave Maine for New York. With Derek being the guy that he was, I knew that not being able to take care of you would bother him and I didn't want him to do anything radical in order to fix that. Just before my first appointment, I found out that I got the job. I wouldn't be making a ton of money but it would be enough to take care of us and it had pretty good benefits, insurance and the like.

I wanted to tell Derek, but as time went on, it got easier to keep it from him. Then you were born. The first time I saw you, I saw him. You were so beautiful and you looked just like him. You looked so much like him that it hurt. Your middle name, Hatch, I know I told you that I thought it was cool and unique, and I spent a lot of time in the Hatch Science Library during undergrad, but it's actually where Derek and I met.

Before we left the hospital, I wrote Derek a letter. I had to tell him about you, regardless of what was to come. Eleanor, I never told you, because there wasn't a reply. I'm so sorry, honey, that doesn't mean that he didn't care. It very easily could have gotten lost in the mail or maybe I had the address wrong, I don't know…"

"Mom, you had the address right." I interrupt her. I can't let her think he didn't care or she made some mistake. "Derek's mom is here visiting, she got the letter. She read it and never told Derek about it."

"Oh, honey. I can't believe she would do that."

"Yeah, me neither. It seems like she was just trying to protect him. She seems like a nice enough person. But mom, why wouldn't you try to call him? I mean, you must have still had his number, right?"

"Well, once I found out I was pregnant, I was really mad at Derek. Now I knew it wasn't all his fault that I was pregnant but it's a lot easier to blame the person who isn't there. Anyways, I was on a ferry and almost called, but got too scared and ended up throwing the phone over the railing and lost all of my contacts. It was hell trying to get back in touch with all of my old friends."

"Oh, well anyways, Derek seems to have done alright for himself and so did you. I turned out alright I think, so I guess it all worked out."

"So, tell me about the rest of his family. I know he had a lot of sisters."

"Yeah, so Amelia is the only one I've met. She's really cool and thinks I have a knack for neuro. I've met his wife, Meredith, and his kids, Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. Meredith is really nice and the kids are great. I'm actually at their house right now. Last night is when everything kind of came to blows and it was a bit dramatic. I don't know if I'll ever forgive Carolyn, but I think that Meredith, Amelia, and the kids could be family out here, you know?"

"I'm really glad they've accepted you, sweetheart. I think you should really think about forgiving Carolyn. She and her daughters and Meredith are the only people that can tell you about Derek. Sure, if she would have given him the letter things could have been different, but this is your shot to get to know him the way they did and it's the best you're going to get, Ella."

"You know, Carolyn said something similar to that earlier. I will try to get to know Derek through them, the forgiveness thing will come later."

"Ok, hun. Just try. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"No, I think that's enough for now. Thanks, mom, for answering my questions, telling me about you and Derek. It means a lot to me."

"Of course, Eleanor. I should have told you sooner."

"It's ok. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye, mom."

I hang up, sit back down on Alex's bed, and take a deep breath and let it out. I always hated my middle name and hated telling to people at Bowdoin, but now, knowing where it came from, I want to shout it from the rooftops.

I stand up and head towards the door. As I put my hand on the knob, all I can think about is getting a drink with Alex.


End file.
